In a shocking revelation, Bethany Joy Lenz, best known for her iconic role in *One Tree Hill*, has opened up about her decade-long involvement with what she calls a 'cult.' Speaking candidly in an interview with PEOPLE to promote her memoir, *Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show (While also in an Actual Cult!)*, Lenz shared her journey of seeking belonging and spiritual connection—something she found within a troubling ultra-Christian group.

Lenz, now 43, described how the group initially appeared benign, reminiscent of the familiar settings of many Wednesday night Bible studies she had attended throughout her life. "It looked so normal at first," she said, "but it just morphed." The actress, who grew up feeling a gap in her upbringing as an only child, sought a spiritual home. "It intersected with my experience in the Evangelical Church. I was looking for a place to belong, something connected to a higher spiritual experience."

For ten years, she was under the control of a pastor in Idaho, who influenced not just her spiritual beliefs but her career, personal choices, and finances. Lenz expressed that joining the group felt like finding "water in a desert." “We crave that kind of intimacy,” she explained, longing for unconditional acceptance.

Despite the initially comforting environment, Lenz soon found herself tangled in relationships within the group that prevented her from seeing the red flags. “I didn’t really notice it was changing. I was too far in and was very young; I questioned everything except the group,” she admitted, revealing that she pondered more about her marriage than the organization itself.

Describing her experience, Lenz avoids the term "brainwashing," instead referring to it as "high control." "I adapted everything around me to conform to what I wanted to believe," she explained, underscoring the psychological manipulation she endured.

In her memoir, she dives deeper into these experiences, aiming to shed light on a chapter of her life she previously hinted at on her *One Tree Hill* podcast. "I don’t see this as brave, but important," she reflected. "Living silently with the suffering I went through doesn’t help anyone. This feels like the right thing to do."

When it comes to how her co-stars reacted to her involvement in the group, Lenz recalled sensing their concern. "I could see it on their faces," she shared, rationalizing her situation by thinking, "I couldn’t possibly be in a cult. I have a special relationship with God that others desire without knowing how to achieve."

Now, Lenz hopes that her story will resonate with others who might be grappling with similar situations, encouraging them to seek out their own truths and find paths to recovery. This compelling narrative isn't just about survival—it’s about empowerment, healing, and discovering one's identity beyond the confines that often bind us.