Nicole Kidman's Emotional Challenges

Nicole Kidman has recently revealed the intense emotional challenges she faces as she navigates her mid-50s, expressing feelings of vulnerability and existential fear. In a candid interview with GQ, the 57-year-old actress described waking up “crying and gasping” for air, reflecting on her mortality and profound connections in life.

Reflections on Mortality and Loss

The star of “Big Little Lies” emphasized that with age comes a deeper awareness of the complexities of human existence, particularly after experiencing personal loss. “Mortality, connection, life coming and hitting you,” Kidman shared, touching upon the heart-wrenching realities of losing parents and raising children. She is the mother of four: daughters Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith Margaret, 13, with husband Keith Urban, and Bella, 31, and Conner, 29, from her previous marriage to Tom Cruise.

Recent Grief

Kidman has faced significant grief recently; she lost her father, Antony, a decade ago, and more recently, her mother, Janelle. The news of her mother’s death reached her while she was en route to the Venice International Film Festival, leaving her feeling “heartbroken.”

Aging and Self-Discovery

Reflecting on these experiences, Kidman acknowledged that aging brings forth powerful realizations: “It’s a wake-up at 3 a.m. crying and gasping kind of thing.” She described being fully immersed in these emotions and facing them head-on rather than numbing herself to them.

Bold Career Moves in 'Babygirl'

Professionally, despite these hardships, Kidman is pushing the envelope with her work. She stars in the provocative film "Babygirl," directed by Halina Reijn, which is already generating Oscar buzz. In this highly anticipated erotic thriller, Kidman portrays a 50-something female CEO who engages in a complex, BDSM-influenced relationship with a much younger intern. Kidman described the experience of watching the film with an audience as “terrifying” yet “thrilling,” illustrating just how much she invests in her performances.

Impact on Well-Being

Kidman’s commitment to authenticity in her roles often takes a toll on her well-being. “I get sick or I get disturbed,” she admitted, noting that the intensity of her performances sometimes leads to nightmares and physical manifestations of anxiety. The demanding nature of filming intimate scenes in "Babygirl" pushed her to her limits, causing her to take breaks during production. “There were times when I was like, ‘I don’t want to [imitate] orgasm anymore,’” she recounted with a blend of humor and genuine exhaustion.

Relationships on Set

The process of filming required an extraordinary level of trust and rapport with her co-stars, Harrison Dickinson and Antonio Banderas, but it also came with its fair share of frustrations. Despite the emotional and physical challenges, the experience taught her a lot about herself.

Catch Nicole Kidman in 'Babygirl'!

Be sure to catch Nicole Kidman’s performance in “Babygirl,” which hits theaters on December 25! This film not only showcases her incredible talent but also offers a glimpse into the raw and unfiltered emotions she grapples with in both her personal life and career.