Introduction

In a touching and distressing recount of familial dynamics, a woman from Singapore has taken to Reddit to express her frustration over her father's view on retirement, declaring, 'You two are my insurance. I paid for you when you were young, so now it’s your turn.' This stark expectation has left her feeling both troubled and obligated as she navigates her late 20s and reflects on her father’s financial irresponsibility.

Father's Financial Situation

Her father currently earns between $3,000 to $4,000 a month and has recently voiced his desire to retire early, wishing to indulge in leisurely activities such as enjoying daily Grab rides, feasting on lavish meals, and gambling. However, this plan appears unrealistic, especially considering that he has drained his CPF Ordinary Account and canceled all his insurance policies a decade ago, leaving him without even the basic hospitalization coverage. His growing health issues, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and elevated sugar levels, have led to insurance companies refusing to cover him.

Daughter's Dilemma

When confronted by his daughter and her sibling regarding his retirement aspirations, he insisted that they must support him financially. This situation is particularly burdensome for her, given that while her father played a role in their upbringing, their mother assumed full financial responsibility from when she was just 16 years old, whilst her father indulged in his personal interests.

Emotional Struggle

The daughter expressed her internal conflict: 'I’m struggling to process this. It feels like he’s just checked out of his responsibilities and dumped them on us.' She shared her emotional turmoil about respecting a father who seemingly lacks foresight for his future, feeling a mix of obligation and disappointment in his choices.

Community Response

As she sought advice from the Reddit community, many chimed in with similar personal stories, highlighting how common this situation seems to be in Singaporean families. One Redditor recalled their father making similar claims, adding, 'This dude gambled away his condo and didn’t do much for me my entire life when he was rich.' Others offered cautionary tales of their own experiences, with one individual noting that moving out was a pivotal choice for them amid family disagreements over financial expectations.

Criticism of the Term 'Insurance'

The term 'insurance,' used by the father, drew criticism and surprise from many commenters, who pointed out the troubling implications of such a designation, suggesting that it reduces parental relationships to mere transactional exchanges. Some Redditors even asserted that reconciling with her father might not be necessary, emphasizing that the daughter should only extend help if she feels ready and isn’t burdened by the expectations.

Practical Advice from Redditors

Practical advice was also shared, including suggestions for how she could assist her father without jeopardizing her own financial security. One insightful Redditor recommended directing any potential support into his Medisave account first before transitioning that help into a retirement account, ensuring it wouldn’t be spent hastily.

Experiences of Others

In a related concern, another Redditor detailed their experience supporting an elderly parent, highlighting the demanding nature of providing financial assistance, even when it feels inadequate. A common thread among these discussions is the emotional and ethical burden placed on adult children when parents fail to plan for their future.

Conclusion

As conversations about familial obligations and financial responsibilities continue to unfold on platforms like Reddit, many are left questioning the extent of their duties towards aging parents in a society where individual financial planning is often overlooked. In an era where financial wellness is touted as crucial, cases like this starkly illustrate the implications of neglecting prudent planning in one’s later years.