Introduction

A man, currently grappling with a year-long unemployment streak, shared his distressing experience on Reddit, revealing that his wife has threatened to divorce him following yet another job rejection.

The Strain of Unemployment

In his heartfelt post on the r/askSingapore forum, the man disclosed that, beyond contemplating divorce, his wife suggested changing their children's surnames to hers. He recounted her harsh words, stating, "You would be better off gone, with your insurance money going to the children, rather than consuming resources that could be better used for them."

"This is not who I am. I'm not a deadbeat," he lamented, emphasizing his role as the primary caregiver and housekeeper while still contributing to household expenses. He explained that after being retrenched in early 2024, he devoted himself to job hunting, submitting an astonishing 263 applications and attending over 10 interviews. To enhance his employability, he even pursued a master's degree, hoping it would secure him a position in a government agency.

Facing Continuous Rejection

Despite his best efforts, he faces rejection after rejection. "I applied for entry-level executive assistant and research assistant roles, but they were immediately turned down. I can’t help but feel that there’s an age bias at play. It’s as if life ends at 40 when you find yourself without a job," he expressed.

He painfully questioned, "What am I doing wrong?" After reaching out to various government job placement agencies, he found their advice lacking. They only suggested roles as a warehouse assistant, despite his extensive background in healthcare and biotech operations, including a master's degree in business and an honors degree in biomedical engineering.

Domestic Pressures

Though he considered the idea of becoming a warehouse assistant, the role required 12-hour shifts—a proposal his wife strongly opposed. He noted, "I can’t escape childcare since my wife insists that I compensate for our pay difference by taking on all domestic chores. Working 12 hours won’t be feasible for me, and she refuses to allow me to accept jobs that don’t pay at least half of her salary."

The man's situation was further complicated by his wife’s ultimatum regarding relocation for work; if he were to pursue job opportunities that required daily travel or overseas work, she threatened divorce and indicated she would hire a maid to handle domestic duties.

Impact on Mental Health

Feeling overwhelmed by constant judgment from both his wife and their social circles, he expressed his sense of helplessness, asking the Reddit community, "It feels like the entire world is conspiring to push me out of the picture… what should I do?"

Responses from Reddit users were filled with support and suggestions. Many agreed that his wife's behavior was detrimental to his mental health, with comments highlighting her toxic attitude towards his unemployment. One user bluntly stated, "Your wife is toxic af," while another remarked that she sees him merely as a domestic helper, exploiting the fact that he cannot leave easily due to their children.

Advice from the Community

Practical advice flooded in, with several users recommending temporary or freelance work to ease his financial burden. One user suggested becoming a ride-share driver to generate income while still job hunting.

Additionally, some speculated that his extensive qualifications may hinder his job prospects, advising him to omit his master's degree from his CV to avoid appearing overqualified.

Conclusion

This not-so-unique tale underscores the growing pressures many face in today's job market, particularly for those over 40—a demographic often overlooked despite their extensive experience. As the job market continues to evolve, it is critical for both job seekers and their support systems to navigate these challenges with understanding and constructive communication.

Related Narrative

Meanwhile, in a separate but equally poignant narrative, another Reddit user posed the question of whether she was in the wrong for not wanting to live with her aging single mother in Singapore. Her concern reflects broader societal issues surrounding family obligations and individual autonomy, particularly within the context of caregiving for elderly relatives.

As these stories unfold online, they reveal the complex interplay of personal circumstances, societal expectations, and the pressing challenges of unemployment that many individuals face today.