Introduction

In a striking tale that has left many shaking their heads, a Singaporean man took to the r/askSingapore subreddit to express his anxiety over a family betrayal. The source of his distress? His cousin, who borrowed a staggering S$8,000 under the pretense of needing it for a court case, has gone silent despite repeated attempts to communicate.

Trust and Betrayal

The man, who has been part of the workforce for just two years, recounted how he placed his trust in his cousin, only to find himself on the losing end of a family loan. "I trusted him and sent him the money," he shared. Sadly, this trust quickly soured as his cousin began making excuses for why he couldn’t repay the loan and eventually stopped responding altogether.

Uncovering a Family Pattern

When the man sought the help of his uncle and aunt to facilitate repayment, he uncovered a troubling family pattern: his relatives had lent their son about S$60,000 and discovered that he had even borrowed S$800 from his younger brother, who is still navigating his studies in polytechnic. “For context, my cousin is in his 30s, fully capable but unwilling to secure stable employment,” he lamented. “He is only focused on quick ways to earn money."

Personal Reflection and Consequences

Feeling a profound sense of frustration, the man couldn't help but reflect on how his hard-earned money could have contributed to significant milestones in his life, like a wedding or purchasing a home. He admitted, "I found myself constantly worrying, and it has affected my mood and temperament."

Community Response and Advice

Responding to his post, numerous Reddit users empathized and shared their own unfortunate experiences with family-related financial disputes. One user recounted a similar tale of being scammed for even larger amounts, explaining how letting go of their resentment and forgiving the relative after the loss provided them peace.

Caution Against Lending to Family

The community's advice was blunt yet practical—many cautioned against lending money to family members, positing that one should "only lend what you are willing to lose forever." A user even stated, “If they refuse and ask for more, I take it as an insult and end the relationship.” Some suggested that the man not pursue repayment from his uncle and aunt, given their own financial strains as they cope with their son’s debts.

Related Experiences

In a related circumstance shared online, another individual discussed their discomfort with their girlfriend's sister's repeated requests for loans, despite her consistently paying them back. The emotional toll of constant borrowing led him to realize that there should be personal limits, regardless of financial circumstances.

Conclusion

As families navigate the often treacherous waters of money and trust, this man's experience serves as a cautionary tale—one that underscores the need for caution when mixing family ties with financial transactions.

Stay tuned for more stories that highlight the complexity of personal finance within families, and learn how to protect yourself from being taken advantage of by those closest to you.