SINGAPORE

In a heartfelt social media post that has struck a chord with many, a man in his mid-30s who balances two jobs reveals the emotional toll of feeling left behind while his friends thrive. Living on a mere $700 a month, he shared his story on r/askSingapore, a popular Reddit forum, expressing profound feelings of inadequacy as he witnesses his peers achieving goals he finds daunting.

While his friends are enjoying luxurious vacations, saving substantial amounts of money, investing in businesses, and moving into their own stylish flats, he struggles to make ends meet. The pressure mounts as he observes his friends splurging on lavish items, from high-end watches to trendy cars, some even starting families and traveling the globe.

“I barely have any savings at the end of the month,” he lamented. “It feels like everyone around me is making it in life. I’ve lost many friends because I can’t afford to go out with them, and slowly, they’ve stopped inviting me altogether.”

Despite his grueling work schedule, he finds himself in a precarious position where he struggles to support his elderly parents who rely on him, as they are unable to work due to ongoing medical issues. The mounting bills for healthcare, daily necessities, and loans weigh heavily on his shoulders. “My household income is just enough to disqualify us from aid, yet not enough to provide for our basic needs,” he explained.

Living a frugal lifestyle, this dedicated son spends only on essentials such as transportation, food, and utilities, squeezing his monthly expenses down to $550–$700. It’s a lifestyle that has not allowed him to invest in even basic technology, as he has not replaced his laptop or phone in eight years—worries of a potential breakdown linger, along with the fear of depleting his meager savings.

Feeling trapped in a cycle of despair, the man recounted his attempts to upskill through various SkillsFuture courses, which, despite his hope for advancement, resulted in no recognition from his employer. His encounters with supposed "money-making" courses, promising financial independence, left him shaken—a brokered dream with fees that were out of reach.

His poignant reflection, “If you are born poor, it’s not your fault. But if you die poor, it’s your fault,” echoes the harsh reality many face. “This hit me hard,” he confessed, “like I’m not even trying. I feel stuck, longing for growth while everyone I know is thriving.”

Community support came pouring in, offering words of comfort and solidarity. Many Redditors reminded him that his hard work, particularly in caring for his parents, exemplifies resilience and good character. One commenter praised him, “Working two jobs shows you have incredible strength; that in itself is no small feat.”

Additional voices in the discussion encouraged focusing on personal growth and recognizing individual circumstances. One suggested that relentless comparisons can strip away contentment, advising to appreciate one’s own journey instead of coveting the visible successes of others.

Experts warn against the toxicity of constant comparisons. Rachel Cruze, a financial author and expert, emphasizes the detrimental effects of such behavior on mental health, likening it to a cycle of dissatisfaction that can lead to anxiety or off-kilter financial choices.

To break free from this vicious cycle, Cruze advises embracing gratitude, recognizing the facade of social media, competing with oneself, celebrating others' successes genuinely, and taking breaks from social media that may exacerbate negative feelings.

This poignant narrative sheds light on the quiet struggles of many in urban societies today, who toil tirelessly yet feel overshadowed by those navigating life with greater financial ease. The question remains—how can society structure aid for those striving to break free from poverty and find success in their definition?

A call to action resonates: perhaps it's time to lift one another up and recognize that each journey is unique and deserving of recognition—an urgent reminder to appreciate our own strides amidst the noise of others' accomplishments.