Introduction

A thought-provoking question surfaced on Reddit recently when a man sought advice from fellow Singaporeans regarding the appropriateness of giving his wife a monthly allowance. In his post on the r/SGHenry forum, he detailed that both he and his wife are employed and actively contribute to their household finances. He noted, "My pay is around S$2-3K higher than hers (per month) and we both contribute to a joint account primarily for our mortgage, childcare expenses, and cash flow."

The Inquiry

However, the man's inquiry was sparked by a conversation with his wife, who mentioned that she had observed other husbands providing their wives with an allowance, even when not explicitly asked. This revelation led him to ponder whether he should follow suit and how much should be an appropriate monthly allowance.

Community Reaction

Writing to the community, he asked, "Should I give 10-20% of my salary, or is there an ideal fixed amount?" His question struck a chord, and many responded with strong opinions.

The overwhelming consensus among Singaporean Reddit users was one of skepticism regarding a monthly "pocket money" system for working wives. Many argued that in a dual-income household where both partners contribute financially, the concept of an allowance feels outdated. "If she is working, ZERO!" one commenter bluntly stated, emphasizing that a partner should not have an expectation of receiving pocket money when they are also earning their own income.

Generational Perspectives

Some responses highlighted the generational gap in thinking; some users viewed this dynamic as a remnant of a bygone era when men were typically the sole providers. “This is 2024, not 40 years ago,” said one user, questioning the relevance of such expectations today.

Voices of Wives and Stay-at-Home Moms

Interestingly, the conversation also attracted the input of some wives and stay-at-home moms, who articulated their perspectives. Many noted that they had never asked for allowances and preferred open discussions with their spouses regarding discretionary spending. One commenter shared, “I never requested an allowance from my husband, even when my hours were cut for caregiving responsibilities.”

The Importance of Communication

A few Redditors suggested that before the husband makes any decisions about allowances, he should have an earnest dialogue with his wife about why she may feel a need for extra funds. "Perhaps she feels she has insufficient funds after contributions to joint expenses," one suggested, urging communication to address potential needs without emotional tension.

Related Discussions

In a related topic, another woman turned to Reddit to seek advice after encountering a challenging situation with her boyfriend’s mother, who expressed her desire to include her name on their Build-to-Order (BTO) flat application. The mother claimed it was for "protection" in the event of a future separation, highlighting the complexities of family dynamics and property ownership in relationships.

Conclusion

In both cases, the discussions surrounding finances and shared responsibilities reveal how societal norms and expectations are evolving as relationships increasingly embrace equality and open communication. Understanding each partner's needs and perspectives seems crucial as Singaporeans navigate modern-day marriages.

Stay tuned for more insights and conversations like these, as they continue to shape our understanding of relationships in contemporary society!