SINGAPORE: A man in his mid-30s, working tirelessly at two jobs to make ends meet, has taken to social media to express his feelings of inadequacy and isolation as he watches his friends and peers reach milestones that seem unattainable to him.

In a heartfelt post on Reddit’s r/askSingapore, he revealed that despite his relentless dedication, he manages to survive on a meager budget of just $700 a month. While his friends are traveling the world, saving hefty amounts, and indulging in luxury items, he is left grappling with financial strains and lost friendships. “I barely have any savings at the end of the month,” he lamented. “I’ve lost many friends because I can’t afford to keep up with them, and it hurts to watch them thrive while I struggle.”

Financial Struggles and Responsibilities

Finances are an arduous burden for him as he supports his aging parents who are unable to work. His income just scrapes by, leaving him ineligible for any assistance programs, ultimately causing him to feel trapped in a cycle of financial struggle. “It’s like I’m treading water, working two jobs through long hours just to cover bills that never seem to end,” he expressed.

Frugal Living and Career Aspirations

Living a frugal lifestyle, he confines his spending to basic necessities like food, transportation, and household bills, often totaling between $550 and $700 monthly. He hasn’t replaced his laptop or phone in eight years and is constantly anxious about the repercussions if they were to fail.

In seeking to uplift his career prospects, he enrolled in various SkillsFuture courses, only to find that his efforts went unrecognized and unpaid. Despite attending free courses that promised financial breakthroughs, he was met with disheartening feedback when he hoped for help; one course provider even coldly stated, “If you are born poor, it’s not your fault. But if you die poor, it’s your fault.”

Community Support and Advice

This statement hit him particularly hard, reinforcing the feeling of being stuck as he watches others chase and achieve dreams he once held. Reflecting on his past aspirations, he asked, “Is anyone else feeling this way? I’m really trying, yet progress feels out of reach.”

Many within the community responded with support, empathy, and encouragement. Comments ranged from offering reassurance about his character to reminding him of the value of his hard work and the sacrifices he makes for his family. One supporter remarked, “You are doing an admirable job by caring for your parents, and working two jobs shows great perseverance.”

Avoiding the Comparison Trap

The general consensus echoed the importance of focusing on personal progress rather than comparing oneself to others, with advice to celebrate one’s small victories and practice gratitude.

Professionals warn that excessive self-comparison can lead to mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and financial strains as individuals seek to match the seemingly glamorous lives of their peers. Rachel Cruze, a financial expert, offers tips to break free from this negative mindset, such as maintaining a gratitude practice, recognizing social media illusions, and celebrating the successes of others rather than feeling envious.

A Broader Issue