Introduction

SINGAPORE: A 21-year-old woman has sparked a hot debate online after announcing her experience of dating over 30 men in just one year, revealing the trials and tribulations that come with modern romance in Singapore.

Costs of Dating

In a candid post on Reddit’s “Ask Singapore” forum, she lamented the exhausting and pricey nature of dating in the city, claiming that the average cost of a date can exceed $100, especially when splitting the bill. “It’s mentally and financially draining,” she expressed, emphasizing her preference for a 50/50 approach on first dates.

The Challenges

However, the monetary constraints aren't the only issues she’s faced. The woman highlighted the challenges posed by the small dating pool in Singapore, where connections can often feel too close for comfort. She recounted an awkward episode in which she discovered her date was actually a junior coworker of her father’s, leading to an uncomfortable familial overlap.

Dating Archetypes

Despite her youth, she noted the varying ages of the men she's dated, with the oldest being 32. While exploring relationships with older men, she continually encounters familiar patterns in personalities—chiefly, three archetypes that seem prevalent in the dating scene.

First, there are traditional Singaporean men who are focused on long-term commitments, often prioritizing aspirations like purchasing a “Built-To-Order” flat and remaining permanently in Singapore. “While I respect their goals, it’s not something I envision for myself,” she commented, explaining that her upbringing influences her perception of home and future.

The second group comprises expats who often treat relationships lightly, viewing them as casual flings rather than serious commitments. She regards them as seeking novelty rather than genuine connection, which has led to disappointment in her dating experiences.

The third category includes partners from ethically non-monogamous (ENM) relationships. “In my limited experience, it seems the female partner often seeks emotional fulfillment elsewhere, while the male partner appears overly submissive,” she shared, providing insight into a less conventional dating dynamic.

Community Reactions

Frustrated, she turned to the Reddit community asking, “Why is dating in Singapore so challenging?” Many users expressed disbelief at the extensive number of dates she has had, with comments ranging from shock to skepticism about her dating choices. One user remarked, “Dating over 30 men in a year is wild; what are the odds?”

While some supported her, others suggested that perhaps the consistent difficulties might stem from her own approach or expectations rather than the men around her. Critics pointed out that if she couldn't find compatibility after so many encounters, it might be worth reflecting on what she truly wants in a partner.

Conclusion

The conversation around her experience has prompted other users to weigh in on their views about deal-breakers in relationships, offering insight into the complexities of dating against the backdrop of Singapore's unique social landscape.

Ultimately, while the search for love can often feel strenuous and even fruitless, her journey highlights the broader challenges many face in the modern dating world—leading to the question: Is it time for her to hit the pause button and rediscover herself before seeking the next romantic adventure?