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Torn Between Family Expectations and Personal Dreams: A 22-Year-Old's Struggle in Singapore

2024-10-02

Author: Sarah

Introduction

SINGAPORE: A young woman, just 22 years old, recently opened up on social media about the immense pressure from her parents to abandon her educational aspirations following her struggles with academics.

After unsuccessfully trying to pass her O-levels, which are crucial for entering polytechnic, she has faced relentless criticism and emotional turmoil from her family.

The Pressure from Family

In her heartfelt post on Reddit's r/askSingapore forum, she explained that her parents have become frustrated with her educational journey, expressing that they view her as a "piece of trash" since she does not contribute financially to the household.

This pressure is heightened by her father's comments about his age; at 70 years old, he feels the weight of his responsibility as the family's sole breadwinner and is eager for her to start working.

Restrictions and Isolation

To ensure she focuses on her studies, her parents have imposed strict restrictions on her social life, forcing her to cut ties with friends and limiting her interactions outside the home.

Unfortunately, her repeated failures to achieve her parents' expectations culminated in feelings of isolation and despair.

Comparisons and Employment

The emphasis on urgency in her situation became painfully clear when she mentioned that her parents constantly compare her to peers who have successfully continued their education or started their careers.

In an effort to alleviate her family's financial burden, she reluctantly took on a job as a dishwasher in a local hawker center.

What many don't realize, she stated, is that the job is not just about washing dishes. The physical demands of the work, including backaches and the unpleasant odors that come with the environment, have made her reflect deeply on her life choices.

Dreams vs. Family Expectations

Despite this, she recognizes her passion for scientific research and still dreams of furthering her education, though discouragement from her parents weighs heavily on her.

They have stressed how embarrassing it would be for her to graduate at 30, imploring her to think about societal norms like starting a family and the implications of waiting too long to have children.

Conclusion:

This has led her to a dark conclusion: that her worth is tied up in their expectations, and she can only truly live her life once she is no longer bound by their demands.

Fortunately, the online community responded with an overwhelming sense of support. Fellow Redditors shared their experiences and reassured her that success does not follow a set timeline.

Many echoed the sentiment that life is a journey filled with detours, and age should not dictate one's ability to pursue education or new opportunities.

One commenter highlighted that achieving a degree at any age is a victory and that 30 should not be viewed as a cutoff for education.

They emphasized, "You’ll be 30 regardless; why not be 30 and have a qualification?"

Moreover, it was noted by several commentators that toxic familial dynamics can severely impact a person's self-esteem and mental health.

Supportive words flooded in, affirming that societal pressures can be dismantled and that one's path is unique and valid, no matter how unconventional it may seem.

This young woman's situation shines a light on the broader issues of parental expectations, societal standards, and the crucial importance of mental well-being in the face of familial pressure.

It serves as a reminder that self-worth should not solely be defined by academic success or financial contribution, but rather by personal aspirations and the courage to pursue one's own path.