Nation

Young Singaporean Woman Struggles to Break Free from Divorced Father's Home While Juggling Savings and University Debt

2024-12-26

Author: Siti

In Singapore, a 26-year-old woman finds herself caught in a challenging living situation, residing with her divorced father while striving to save for her future. Despite holding a stable public sector job and boasting $20,000 in savings, she feels trapped, unable to move out as she pursues her dream of owning a Build-To-Order (BTO) flat by the age of 35.

A post on Reddit’s Singapore Raw forum unveiled her plight, revealing that she is also in the midst of repaying her parents for her university fees. Each month, she makes contributions to their Central Provident Fund (CPF) accounts, further limiting her financial freedom. “I’ve topped up about $10,000 to my dad’s CPF so far and provided a small allowance to my mom,” she explained.

The need to leave her father’s household is intensified by her concerns over his financial dependence on her and unresolved anger issues. She described her father as someone who has historically relied on others for support and has borrowed money from his own father in times of need, particularly following his divorce. “He has anger issues he is not aware of… I am currently making sure that I am physically stronger than him,” she noted, highlighting a troubling dynamic in their relationship.

The situation at her mother’s home is no better; she feels that living with her mother isn’t an option due to constant nagging and discomfort stemming from her mother's young partner, who she claims has spoken ill of her. “I feel very troubled and unsure who to talk to for help,” she admitted, even as many of her peers are in more precarious financial positions.

Her post resonated with many, drawing a wave of supportive responses on the forum. Fellow Redditors expressed their admiration for her financial responsibility and urged her to prioritize her mental well-being. Suggestions ranged from seeking affordable alternatives to spending less time at home, to even considering the possibility of renting a space independently, even if it meant sharing with a roommate.

The cultural expectation of filial piety in Singapore was acknowledged, but many agreed that under such circumstances, it shouldn't come at the cost of her mental health. Comments like “It’s not your responsibility to take care of your parents. They are adults who can fend for themselves” emerged, urging her to reclaim her autonomy.

Moreover, some users suggested exploring work opportunities abroad, framing it as a potential route to escape the burdensome situation with her parents. One user passionately advised, “Your best bet is to secure a job overseas and gradually distance yourself,” reflecting a increasingly common sentiment among young adults striving for independence.

In a related scenario, another 25-year-old Singaporean recently shared his battles with a staggering $21,244 debt after prioritizing his mother’s medical bills, revealing the pressures many young individuals face in balancing personal finances while dealing with familial obligations.

With financial independence often seen as an elusive dream, the stories of these young adults serve as a sobering reminder of the complexities surrounding parent-child relationships and the modern struggles for self-sufficiency in an ever-challenging economic landscape.